ron white if you quit listening i'll shut up transcript

Theyre like, Ooh, look at that one. Which one? Im on the back porch of the church, eating my little sandwich, six years old, drinking my Kool-Aid. [high-pitched] Thats all. Im not doing that either. That aint drunk at all. In a dystopian future devastated by air pollution, the survival of humanity depends on the Black Knights and theyre far from your average deliverymen. Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Youre still going to hop in that motherfucker. Theyre going to fucking know. I got 17 friends behind me. I fucking hate geese. Youd think you can tell a mans mouth from a womans mouth, but you cannot. Thats an agility test, and Im not very goddamn agile, all right? Nobody wants to talk about it but me. Do you have any advice, Mr. White? Now, Id just got off the ugliest phone call Ive ever had with my wife, and it was about that house, and part of that house was gonna be a rehearsal space for her band, and while I was shooting a pilot in Vancouver, it turned into a 24-track recording studio. Well, whatever it is, I wouldnt worry about it if I were you. Nobody wants to be a white asshole, but everybody wants to have one all of a sudden. Besides, if youre at that point in a make-out session, youre gonna do it anyway. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. For all New peeps to my channel, plz like and Subscribe and hit that Notification bell for Future Videos.Weekly. No other fucking animal does this. I never got over it. Bienvenidos a un nuevo episodio de Estrenos en Netflix!Hoy vamos a hablar de un especial de comedia de Ron White que se llama \"If you quit listening, i'll shut up\", y que se estren en Netflix el 16 de Octubre de 2018.Muchos chistes machistas y muchas groseras, pero un comediante que es un Sandy y que sale a escena con un vaso de whisky y un puro. Golden Corral? I always let him think he wet the fucking bed. They are. I left everything in my room, and I tell the guy, Listen, I got to go back to the hotel. Literally, people come from all over the world to buy stuff for their shops, and my wife said, My friends having a shower. I have sleep apnea, which keeps my wife awake. 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It was about three years ago, and there were six comics in an open forum, telling stories, and this is the story that I told. He wants to build a wall between the US and Mexico to keep out immigrants, and I wanted to build a net between the US and Canada to keep those fucking geese out of here. Here's When It Returns With New Episodes, Drew Barrymore Halts Segment After "Severely Old" Mac and Cheese Noodle Flies off Her Desk: "It's Rock Hard". Its got 750 yards on it. And when I was in Edinburgh, I realized that the Scots made me laugh harder than anybody. But oddly enough, I do have a suggestion for this. She goes, Look, its just on the wrong channel. Click. [whistling] Im on break. Ron Tater Salad White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Now, I dont know whats wrong with your vagina that makes you think it needs to be rejuvenated. Squirrels. I dont know how strong they were. Thats what happened to that plane Sully landed on the Hudson River. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up. Im not, and Ill tell you why, because if that piece of shits calibrated wrong, I could be convicted of something I didnt even do. He goes, Then I need you to do a field sobriety test. Im like, Just tell me what to do.. This is my new idea. I was in Melbourne, Florida, one time and I was driving a rental car, and I was by myself, and Id had two drinks. Thats why. I I got nowhere to be. And these guys are laughing and dancing and drinking, and theyre having a fucking blast. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on, Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Teaser), Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up (Trailer). A young man's trip to attend a funeral and a wedding on the same day leads to a journey of self-discovery when he's captivated by a chance encounter. This one takes a bit to get going and funny, but once he starts, he keeps it going hard. I dont know if it just looks tired or sad, or worried about something it cant do anything about. And I get up there and the cop goes, Mr. And if youre looking for a bicycle, its a great deal. Reunited as adults, two childhood friends fall madly in love and won't let anything not even death tear them apart, in this supernatural love story. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. One [giggling] ..fucking eyehole. Come on down to the Golden Corral. I think if it didnt keep my wife awake, I wouldnt know I had it. Im like, No! Another service they offer at this spa is a thing called vaginal rejuvenation. Ron, wake up. He also tweets@thecomicscomicand podcasts half-hour episodes with comedians revealing origin stories:The Comics Comic Presents Last Things First. You go anywhere in West Hollywood, theres these gigantic gay mens clubs with these huge patios. But it turns out, theyre great watchdogs. JOIN NOW Videos Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up White, I smell alcohol on your breath. I said, Thats been there since 77, dude. You pour that much Scotch on a tongue, its gonna smell like Scotch forever. In fact, if shes too clean, I salt her. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! Over 15 million albums, not including the millions and millions of Blue Collar albums you guys bought. Nobody gives a shit. This is what this DJ says to me: Ron Every time a celebrity calls our station, we always ask the same question: If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be? And I said Living. And he tried to explain it to me. Jeff sold more comedy albumsthan Richard Pryor and Bill Cosby combined. One anything has the potential to become a DUI checkpoint if you crash your car into it. 7:31. I dont mean to seem ungrateful, but I got shit to do, Jeff. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. And it turns out, theyve been snipping the pussy lips off of baby ducks in Saudi Arabia for 1,500 years and just throwing them in a river, and the cook from the Four Seasons went there and saw this amazing waste of baby duck pussy lips, and just started thinking, you know, Fuck Tacos! PETA hates it. Thats something we dreamed about and it fucking happened. Is 'Are You There God? And nobody wants our shit anymore. Im not busting on women from the Middle East. Ron White - Take 2 Viagra and demand a pat down. Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut Up 2018 | Maturity Rating: 18+ | 1h 3m | Stand-Up Comedy Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. I know theyre perfectly content to live the way they do. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Fuck no, you have not. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. And, uh this is a story my mother told me I should do on stage. I dont sleep very well. Im like, Theyre gonna know. Is she there? Like, What? Oh, you can see it in their eyehole. Verified reviews are considered more trustworthy by fellow moviegoers. It's Me, Margaret' Streaming on HBO Max or Netflix? Those were dudes? Its very short. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. Theyre not. Dont you fucking do it. And he fucking did it! Back then, having their names on Vegas marquees was living the dream. Because they rarely fucking die. password | 846 views, 6 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from The Power Trip: Lil' B and Meatsauce take on Justin Gaard and. But I took her to Vegas. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. RON WHITE: IF YOU QUIT LISTENING, I'LL SHUT UP (2018) - FULL TRANSCRIPT October 19, 2018 Ron "Tater Salad" White dishes out his signature brand of cynicism, riffing on sex, celebrity and the sinister habits of wild geese. Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without commercials or commitments.Connect with Netflix Online:Visit Netflix WEBSITE: http://nflx.it/29BcWb5Like Netflix Kids on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/NetflixFamilyLike Netflix on FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/29kkAtNFollow Netflix on TWITTER: http://bit.ly/29gswqdFollow Netflix on INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/29oO4UPFollow Netflix on TUMBLR: http://bit.ly/29kkemTRon White: If You Quit Listening Ill Shut Up | Stand-up Special Trailer [HD] | Netflix http://youtube.com/netflix See how much funner it is to say? 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Im there for eight months. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. If You Quit Listening I'll Shut Up opens with soundbites from White's previous specials, then we see him onstage, in a crisp suit, revealing to his fans how fame and . But on the way, they must confront what it means to be different. I told him, Dont you goddamn do it. But why settle for fictional tall tales when you can sit back and enjoy Whites actual road stories. Not plump girls, not fat girls. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. I may or may not be a little drunk. You know what a fair drunk driving test is? [laughing] Seems like Id have something else to say after that. After a weird couple of years, John Mulaney comes out swinging in his return to the stage. Director Tom Forrest Writer Ron White Star Ron White Do I leave? But for our purposes, as well as the inner workings of how show business actually still works or doesnt pay off for most comedians, the most telling part comes when White talks money. One of these treatments is a thing called anal bleaching. And The Comedy Store in LA is a really pretty big place. 13,103, This story has been shared 7,786 times. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Cause I dont care if shes a little salty. Your email address will not be published. White, meanwhile, has survived both divorce and divorce lawyers, and has put a lot of thought into drunk-driving checkpoints, the handsomeness of Chris Hemsworth, and the radical terrorist Canadian geese.. Were just gonna have lunch. And I dont know why, cause they used to sell duck tacos, nobody gave a shit. Theres nothing you can do about it. Im not, and its not fair to me, because Im older, Im not in that great of shape. One eyehole. No, you fucking didnt. Okay, heres mine: Just lunch, and a blowjob. Its a nickel for a hundred of em. Ron White..Spa Day..If You Quit Listening, I'll Shut up..Reaction! And I was like, Goddamn, Ray! He said, Well, shes had three kids. Im like, What, for lunch? 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