A Collection of Terrible Puns - Will Styler. They wanna murder you in a well, which seems a bit harsh, but that's what it says here on this cue card, President Obama: "I wanna make clear to the Fox News tablethat was a joke. Are the details Korean enough? he asks, not waiting for Dan to pass along the broad query to their director before moving on to another thought. I cant catch the Popes eye among all these people. Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican's St. Peter's Square when Dave says "This will never work. Isn't that funny? There are no comments currently available. Clean Humor. [awkward pause] Highlights is a children's magazine. The Hotness: I've got a risotto to heat up, and there's a certain little lady called Vicci who wants to play with fire by that, I mean my cock and balls. Ho. Good buddies sharing a special moment It's basically a play on the word "wrap" Kuzco: Okay, I admit it. Willow: Occipital, the lobe in the back of your brain? (This includes private in-jokes which even intelligent people would never understand without explanation.) It's a joke about microchips FBI guy: Secrets? A common "gag" is one character blurting out a non sequitur and another character shouting "THAT DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE! Yes, Dave, everyone knows the Jews run the media and, let's face it, the entire economy. What'd you think I meant? He's gay! to view the video gallery, or Krillin: THAT THING'S A GUY? [begins to walk away, turns back] That was a pointed comment about me hanging with you guys. . Comedian: I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Martin: You know how an Oreo has that soft creamy filling between two hard cookies? He goes further, in that explaining what he's doing often becomes the joke. ), Frau Farbissina tries to tell him about the commercials, Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth, narration's ironic and misanthropic point of view, see how insignificant your existence (and human life in general), the diagrams and placards they use to explain it, (The others keep staring at him blankly. But then, Data is well known for literally not having a sense of humor. Come on in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington," and off they go. The third time, Dave is recognized, with the Pope's identity unknown, and the boss has a heart attack in disbelief. I said "Forget about the sugar, have a spoonful of me! Once you realize this, you will suddenly, Plus, he notes all of his own "hilarious pranks" with his, There's a rare straight example in the last story of the original series, ". Hahahahahaha! Disher: Glad you like numbers, Billy. Please note that the percentages in these pie graphs do not add up to 100% because the math was done by a woman. Bitterman: I have a confession--I'm not actually a gay cowboy. you and your friend come on in and let's have a beer first and catch up." His boss thinks about it, then replies "Pope Francis." "Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind.". She can vaguely remember the one-liner, "Give me an alligator sandwich -- and make it snappy!" Sometimes that someone tries to guess at what the joke is until everyone becomes exasperated and actually has to explain the joke instead of offering subtle hints which make that someone even more confused. In the episode where Stewie goes to the performing arts school, his antagonist Olivia puts down a performance of his by giving an appraisal: ", "I don't know who to feel worse for, Meg or the pig!" Because your head, it is in a tuba. ), so his failure to get the joke is, in fact, the joke, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D27WtFZ-aaI, "It's like puddle, but spelled differently! Turn that everyman into a BEVERYMAN! Just name someone, anyone, and I know them., Tired of his boasting, his boss calls his bluff, Okay Dave, how about Tom Cruise?. According to Joey, "Ever since your voice changed you've been like a completely different person." This is where the film gets its mojo baby!". Pigeon: She said the same thing to me not ten minutes ago! Eggman: "Nothing will stop me now!I know I said that before but really, this time nothing will stop me!" Off the quack! If you didn't like that one, maybe this'll be a hit. I guess for you it'll be a walk in the park. Steve: (Aside to Francine) Their food is atrocious. GLaDOS: Maybe you'll find someone else to help you. Cordelia: Oh, right. In the Pixar film Coco, when Hctor performs "Everyone Knows Juanita" for his friend Chicharrn, he changes one of the lines to be more family friendly. "See, it's funny because you're a pedophile. Finally, I just had to tell him I'm Norvalian; I don't have a father. J.D. The stuff that makes everything taste wonderful? I'm actuallya space alien! Some of the most iconic Black comedians were . It was late at night and I suppose the poor joker was confused from having to talk about so many products all day. No matter how funny it was, admitting that you thought so does not seem to be a move calculated to enhance longevity. Ho. Catalog (as read by Strong Bad): The Roomy-Vac is a real power-HOUSE Get it? Actually, I thought it was pretty clever. Bender: You may have to metaphorically make a Deal with the Devil. I'm sorry, but that was a metaphor. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. She has no grasp of how or why jokes work -- she's one of those people who say "And then what happened?" "President Obama," his boss quickly retorts. (Beat) 'cause they're shit.". "It is funny because "wang" means "penis".". Phrygia: I think we all understood what you meant at the end of your first sentence, dolt. So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! "Run while you can mortal, soon I will rule the world, and then we'll see who smells. Homer: What's the gag? Who am I, Count Bulletsula? Of the brain. 'v' Because normally my fishing skills are off the hook Get it? "No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. Everyone knows Dave - his boss gets the shock of his life. Making his way to his boss side, Dave asks him, What happened?, His boss looks up and says, It was the final straw you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, Who is that on the balcony with Dave?'. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened? You're gonna be wearing some numbers on your shirt. Steve: Secret of George Bush's appeal? ""No problem, boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. You know, like, should I be watching my back? Because I'm going to knock them out of your head. Spectators: Well, don't quit your day job, Mr. Comedian. Sure! says Dave. Instead of "Praiseland" Get it? So, don't just tell a joke, tell it twice in a row. "The flies were especially attracted to the Dan Brown books. President Obama, his boss quickly retorts. It's possible that Billy is messing with Hawkins on both occasions since he sometimes parodies his own role as, The African guides pull off a pretty good one in the, Willikins, Sam Vimes' butler, explains a reference in the, After much speculation on alt.fan.pratchett (, This joke predates Terry Pratchett; on an episode of, The phrase "Pune, or play on words" tends to. He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. The Film Industry Lost Some Titans This Year What Happens Now? "llol guys hav u heard this 1 its gr8" ok yes "what did the flamers say 2 tha fanfic writer" "i dont kno wat sakura" "u suck" "haha but then what" she then said bak 2 me "well then the fanfic writer said bak u guys need 2 stop smoking its bad 4 u!" Press When I had SEX with her! While saying penis. Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. And I think you know what I'm talking about. The viewers come in when he delivers the punchline: "The snail said, 'Look At that S-car go!" It expresses disbelief at an unreasonable deadline.". After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. Get it? Willow: Should I be watching my occipital lobe? One to change the lightbulb and one to observe how it symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness. Martin: Now, you and me, we'd be the cookie part. A Freaky Alien Genotype. Angel:You know, from Bonanza. Player 2: What? Beat] I mean a date. Herr Settembrini is saying that it's too early for some of 'last year's participants' to spend a little time at the ball. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington," and off they go. Read More After they leave Cruises house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. Norm Macdonald: Who are safer drivers? Turns out the zebra did it. Pete: If only there were some way for you to interact with Vanessa, that did not involve invasive surgery. Hahahahaha! 1. ", His boss looks up and says, "It was the final straw you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the fuck is that on the balcony with Dave?'. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and lets have a cup of coffee first and catch up.. Archer: I don't know. Just saying. Sure enough, half an hour later, Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by . Ramona: (Smiles) Yeah. It's + 5 sexterity Get it? Guy: That's right They sound alike and I became confused.". That also means don't pothole this for the necessary information. Ted: Oh, for the waiting room of your dental practice? (beat) You know, beause it's so small. Ted: Not a lot of people have, Dougal, so it's probably a bad reference. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Palin handed Cleese a full refund immediately, leaving Cleese dumbfounded and saying, "You can't say Thatcher hasn't changed some things.". to view the image gallery, Reid: (to a lecture hall full of college students) How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? So, what about. Random Everygirl: Wait! maybe because a D-shaped pie is basically half a pie. Alex Trebek: Where did you get that magic marker? And then once you're in the recycle bin, I'm going to right click on it and select "empty recycle bin". It was already dead, since the listener didn't get it in the first place. On TV. Chief Wiggum: It's a reference to Ma Kettle, a movie character from the 1940s. There is a 2009 T-Mobile commercial with a part where the customer is in her dummy studio and states that she wants a phone plan that "doesn't cost one of these and one of these." Lets fly to Washington. And off they go. Dave: No, I'm a vaudevillain. King Kai: No. Stay on top of the latest breaking film and TV news! Daves label is renting the place on his behalf, hoping to speed up his process, but the palatial estate is so big hes able to avoid his roommate/manager Mike (Andrew Santino) and hype man, GaTa (played by the characters real-life inspiration, GaTa) whenever theyre saying anything he doesnt want to hear.
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