was i sexually abused quiz

If it was always just the two of you surviving intense situations, you might, for example, have a codependent relationship. And try to train your brain to also notice what IS working. The more important question is, now do you feel about it now, as an adult? I felt unsafe just sitting on the couch with him and would avoid/hide from him And when he got kicked out for hitting my grandma (and then went to jail for drug charges) I felt happy. But what wed suggest is that if you have the symptoms of abuse you seek support. We wish you courage! Even when he was arrested, the only thing I remember about that day was my Mum crying at the dining table surrounded by police officers. If something happened to me, there would be nobody who would care or want to know or could possibly help as I simply do not have anybody. Abuse causes long term issues with trust and self identity, and its important to work to heal it. Read our connected article on what to do if you worry youve been abused http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse. But Im still not sure if its true. Its an investment, yes, but its better than spending years torturing yourself over this. A hymen can break from sports, and some women simply arent born with a lot of hymenal tissue so there is little to rupture and they dont bleed.And its ok to like aggressive porn, if its a healthy enjoyment and you are comfortable in your body and dont think you have to let anyone do anything you dont like. They werent the most professional people, and they didnt exactly treat the kids very well. She said she would talk to him i guess she did n she came to my bed i was awake waiting she hugged me and told me it was a misunderstanding i cried myself to sleep repeating in my head a misunderstanding..i dont like no one to see my body i hate the light on my first relationship i had a daughter and i was abused verbally n physically my second relationship i had a son i was not treated like i was enough i felt like i was invisable he is a good father but i was not in the picture .. i feel like i loose it sometimes and i need to see what to do because i have two kids .. n i have this other thing that i keep wanting to get pregnant like a desire but i know i shouldnt but i ask myself why i feel the desire too be pregnant ? Ive unfortunately hurt people for less reasons but had no tendency to hurt these people. Thats okay too. Hi Blake. They even teased my same age cousin that he got his penis squished. At the time I didnt know I was being sexually or mentally abused so I accepted the fact that life was going to be that way. This must have left you feeling so horribly ashamed and abandoned right at a time you needed to be reassured and supported. The dislike of people looking at you is another common symptom. But as an adult, i cant help but wonder what happened to make my ordinarily over protective mother, not take action? And also, we all need to have compassion for others when they are grumpy, particularly a lot of men out there who seem so tough or are acting out, often they have suffered abuse and are hurting and sadly our society creates so few opportunities for these men to express and find support. In high school years my friends were never friendly and I didnt know why. It could come from all sorts, from TV you watched, snippets of conversations you oversaw, the cover of a magazine. If you have been to a psychologist we would imagine that your mother is aware you need support. Hi Lauren. They are very nice and friendly. because I have no recollection of something actually happening I dont know how to talk about what I am feeling or who to tell. Maybe its because Im a teen and thats part of growing up. All of this is trauma in and of itself. Have I just convinced myself that something happened? This happened about 40 years ago and I have been living with this since then. Is there a school counsellor? Please do reach out, you deserve the support. Or does your workplace provide some counselling in your medical coverage? I was going potty in underwear and crying a lot and just having issues and my brother was having angry outbursts and his teacher even noticed and has to call my mom about his behavior so she took us to a councelor and she showed me a book about places to not touch. I felt exposed and he just kept on going when all was done, he said I should not tell anyone and he left. Hope that helps, and we wish you courage! This happened a lot because when I got in to school, I was sitting in a chair all day pretty much and I would do it all the time and my teachers and my classmates would look at me so weird. for that reason i havent had sex yet. There is absolutely no need to feel weird or ashamed, therapists hear far, far worse all the time, and most young women have had a confusing and upsetting sexualised experience growing up, if not several, its unfortunately quite normala therapist wont judge. Hi there Matt. My greta uncle was found guilty and currently resides in prison. Wed advise that its best for your own wellbeing to work through your very heated emotions and seek professional support over this so you can get to a place where you are stable and strong enough to then decide what next steps work best for you, see our article on what to do next if you think you are abused here which explains what we are saying http://bit.ly/dealwithabuse. They will create a very safe space for you to process all this and learn new, healthier ways of coping. Abuse fantasies occasionally are again normal, if they are about being dominated, for example. I do remember one time where I had just finished performing a scene where I had to be crying. There was also a time when my mom brought up some other girl who was in my grade saying that the kid who did something to me did something to her and my mom called her a little liar so I have never told my mom. The mind will spend hours making up stories or possibilities, some might be true, some not. I honestly dont understand how its supposed to help trauma. Is this classed as COCSA? Hi there. There are also support groups, and there are are many self help books and websites, but a one-on-one counsellor is the ideal If you are on a super low budget, take a look at our article on low cost counselling to give you some ideas on where to find it http://bit.ly/lowcosttherapy. ive never told anyone, because probably theyd think im crazy. Please read our article on types of therapy that actually work for trauma http://bit.ly/therapyfortrauma. We would say there is a charity with a help line here in the UK for men suffering concerning thoughts, you might find these pages helpful https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/concerned-about-your-own-thoughts-or-behaviour/help-with-inappropriate-thoughts-or-behaviour/ you could also contact them to see if they knew of UK-based counsellors who are sensitive about this subject and can help. Many of us never know exactly what happened to us, and its important to put your focus onto getting help for symptoms instead of obsessing over what did and didnt happen. As a small child I would constantly try to rub up on different objects, pillows, furniture, etc to stimulate my private area. They gesture aggressively near your face. I remember the dog not being a nice dog. Best, HT. Quiz: Am I a Dominant or Submissive Personality? The question remains what do you do when youre too traumatized to be able to handle therapy? I remember my sister convincing me to take the bottom part of this Ariel mermaid costume and show myself to daddy or something like that. Basically, its bad parenting to shame and belittle a child for masturbating, but your mother probably was projecting her own issues or religious guilt around sex onto you. So its really weird that I am writing this. That its not just you, hopefully that helps you feel less alone with it, even if you have nobody to talk to. The problem is that now they are adults, their lives are up to them. I have this reoccurring thought that I have been sexually abused as a child and somehow there is no doubt in my mind that that is true even though I do not have any memory of anything suspicious happening ever. Were all grown up now and my cousins are really nice, but I still feel like what happened wasnt right. A normal sex drive is whatever and whenever you want to have sex, there is no measure except what you feel comfortable with. In fact a professional hypnotist will not ever hypnotise someone to remember abuse memories, as the brain does not work like that and false memories can come into play that upset a client more than heal them. So my grandpas ex girlfriend (or wife, I dont know) got a boyfriend named Karl. If you are by chance in our country, the UK, you can find a list of places to call here http://bit.ly/mentalhelplines. If you feel bad about something, you feel bad about it. Then when I was around 15 I think, I had a couple of dreams where she made me have sex with her. Something went wrong while submitting the form. If you have zero budget, then yes, you can talk to your GP. On the other hand, he just looks/talks to me awkwardly. What we do know is that each person is individual with their sex drive and the things you see in films and movies and media that encourage young people to think they are supposed to want sex young, and all the time, is complete rubbish. Any trusted therapists in Los Angeles? Of course children need to be taught their body is theirs and private, and that nobody else has the right to touch their body. I suspect my some of my uncles too for being apart of it. I remember him making me do things to him but I feel like I may not remember the whole thing. What might be helpful here is to talk just about the panic. Hi. Is there a support group for teens anywhere nearby? Otherwise bringing the abuse out into the open can end up being totally overwhelming and re-traumatising. What now? All we can do is seek support to help with our symptoms, our anxiety and harming, which you have. Spoke to a older friend and she has spoken to the people that deal with stuff..those people will be talking to my parents and i guess my brother too..but i dont want to get him in trouble..i mean i know what he did wasnt right one bit but hes still my brother.. Hi, Im 18 years old and recently I have been having suspicions of being molested as a child. She stated our neighbors had expressed concern at one point I told her no. I lie to him so much about our sex life. I used one of hers once from a new pack went to replace them and she got home before i got back and she got really angry at me so i ended up giving her my pack and having to use toilet roll again. Note that its not only sexually abuse that leads to being in an abusive relationship, neglect and abandonment alone can cause trauma bonding. He hand loosened and I fell asleep. I acted out sexually from that age on. Either way I am happy to have sought help, EDMR therapy in particular, and to at least learn who I really am. In our opinion, and we are in the UK which is less just take pills than the USA, you can go beyond coping. To lose a father, to have a mother to not be emotionally present afterwards, to know that your father supported hurting other children, and to be left with the possibility he hurt you, these are all huge traumas each by themselves, and together would be overwhelming for anyone to navigate. We were in the garage and were kind of hiding behind a standing tool box. Play these sexual harassment quizzes as a party game or just have binge session for yourself. What can be done to help??? Im 17 and a senior in highschool, Im going to start from the beginning, so please bear with me for making this long [EDITED TO PROTECT PRIVACY]. Are you sexually acting out with others, do you have abusive fantasies, anxiety, depression, dissociation? (I often bragged about how much I knew about sex which, with the context of how I knew all this stuff, is a bit fucked up.) Ive been wondering about this since ive had multiple of the symptoms that are listed above. So regardless of what happened that night, those symptoms are a lot for one person to deal with and you need help. Some days vaginal cramping and breast pain gets really bad and Im not on my menstrual cycle, it just really hurts down there. I have always been seemingly over-interested in sex and my first sexual experiences were humiliating. We have an article here on how to ask parents for support. But it is not a form of abuse. I didnt think it was abnormal. But there seems to be a bit of anxiety here, a bit of worry, and a sense of not belonging that goes all the way back to childhood, and that this comment by the neighbour has really triggered it. I only remember a few good memories. Hi Jeris, we cant understand here how you are related to your situation. He or she will understand all this and wont judge you.We cant say if you were or werent abused, unfortunately many of us never know for sure. I also self harm for 6 years. We do not provide consumer reports and are not a consumer reporting agency. Although I can contribute those issues to other factors, the things that seem to me like the biggest evidence are other things I am absolutely terrified of having anyone apart from a partner looking at my genitals (doctors, aestheticians etc) to the point where I cry and have a panic attack even just thinking about it happening. I remember specifically someone touching, and maybe cutting my clitoris and labia when i was a very young child. Ive been in therapy and it helped about 15 years ago I had a bad time couldnt stop thinking about certain memories felt experiences in my body which caused me a lot of distress but I have no visual memory just things like being on a water bed some one on top of me or behind me touching me. It was like a huge sting of shame that swept over me from it and I have probably thought about it almost every day since. Have you talked to your counsellor about one day talking about this with your brother? First of all, lets take a little bit of the stress off here. Ive been very sexual though since as long as I can remember but as far back as that memory goes, I dont remember anyone doing anything to me. If you are in crisis again, call a hotline. It sounds like you have had to go through an awful lot of suffering and that you are still really suffering. Best, HT. On finding all their faults, on scanning for any nuances to show they are just like the others, on trying to find evidence they are not trustworthy? As youll see in other comments in this thread, its not about what actually happened, its about if you are suffering or not. London Bridge. You are not a different person just because you you had an unwanted sexual experience, you are still you. But the thing about abuse is, even as our adult mind makes sense of it, the little child inside of us doesnt, and her rage and despair still lives on. Watching your father die when you are only 13 is its own kind of horror and trauma, and you are bound to be experiencing all sorts of emotions right now. D. Low Self esteem / Guilt, Dissociation. long story short my parents are divorced and i used to have a phone so i could talk to my mom when i was up at my dads. Have had 4 therapists. I remember him touching my butt and back of my thighs a few times. We were very close so I would often lie in his bed and didnt think much of it (I was used to having girl friends rather than guy friends) and I remember he would lie next to me and would sometimes roll over so he was on top of me. I am in no doubt whilst I dont have complete memories (remember the beginning of each incident the first touch but dont remember it stopping them leaving). Its all created by the media. Hi SC, we are sorry to hear about your difficulties but great to hear you are trying therapy. Hi Arman, we are sorry to hear about this. Trauma is too powerful. You can just say that you are having very upsetting childhood flashbacks. Yes, I understand and implement appropriate boundaries. Even if we love someone, sex should always be an option, we should always have a choice. He told me that he would show me. The vaginal cramping, breast pain, and rash are not symptom of abuse, wed highly suggest you see your medical doctor for a checkup as that sounds hormonal or illness related (we are not medical doctors so we really cant say) but important to look into. but its gotten worse, and my sister has told me idk why your temper has gotten so bad lately. As for these experiences being behind present day sexual issues, this could be part of a bigger story. i have only one memory of him when i was little, he was bouncing me on his leg (playful) and i had a space themed sippy cup. We can drive ourselves crazy with trying to know. See our website aims. Hi Will, worth talking to a counsellor about if its something you find very upsetting. I actually once passed out, and another time cried when I was on the brink of orgasming. Best, HT. So touching a child is a serious offence. Ive been in therapy on/ off over 18 years (maybe 18mth break not always weekly) recently just done 20 weeks trauma therapy with Manchester Rape it seems a lot to me. Is there a school counsellor youd feel okay talking to? The only thing we have control of is managing the symptoms and taking care of ourselves, which means making the effort to seek support. I dont understand where this aversion comes from. Otherwise the Good Samaritans run free hotlines in the US (by text) and UK (by phone). But I had a panic attack. My parents didnt know he was a child molester, because my grandparents kept it a secret from them. And your brain has obviously registered it as a big trauma.The positive part about this experience, as far as healing goes, is that your parent believed you and defended you. Sounds like you are going through a tough time. Its important to understand what qualifies as, It is now recognised that sexual abuse does not even have to involve physicality to be extraordinarily damaging to a child and the future adult they will become. Wed highly recommend you reach out for support. I remember falling asleep every night to him reading me stories and every saturday he would take me somewhere special, church was on sundays. Here is what I do remember happening by my brother: Because sexual abuse is very talked about in our society, many people assume they were abused. Although we would say that the best place to look at it would be with professional support. Its a lot to unravel alone. Or a friend you trust? Something in my brain makes me think something else happened. I am a mother now to a 2 year old girl and I got baptised last year. Im 18 and starting to wonder if I was sexually abused as a child, but have no memory of it. I think I was sexually abused as a child but I have very little to no memory from ages 3-9 yrs old. i never see him but i know when i was a baby he used to baby sit me before my parents put me in daycare. During the ages 7-10 I would grab/touch my crotch all the time and remember feeling uncomfortable around him all the time.Now, I get uncomfortable when around him and avoid being alone with him or being close to him as much as I can.I dont know if im just making these memories up or if if this really happened?? And I truly truly dont know if its real. I wouldnt let my mother touch me. I remember when I was around 4-5, I was putting things into my underwear and rubbing against it to make me feel good. Or insist that you be allowed to see a counsellor? I constantly feel like all Im going to be good at in a realtionship is a sexual pleaser. Large periods of my childhood are missing, i just dont remember, blank. Read our article on therapies that actually work for trauma http://bit.ly/therapyfortrauma. Whenever my parents talked about him being such a nice guy or anything I truly hated it. If you did have the courage to try therapy again, wed highly suggest Schema therapy, which is specifically designed to help people when other forms of therapy havent and to help people who have no idea how to trust. As for ever knowing what happened, as you can see in the other responses we cant ever know, unless one day there is a time machine!